I Shoulda, I Coulda, I Would Have…but didn’t
See, I shoulda gotten up earlier this morning, the day after Valentine’s Day and a Friday, no less. Yeah, I shoulda but then that would mean that if I did indeed, coulda gotten up earlier, I would have been somehow obligated to do an extra item on my Shoulda, Coulda, Would List and that coulda been disaster for us all. But…I avoided the possible destruction and chaos meant for all mankind. Let me explain.
Murphy’s Law personified, remember?
I regularly tempt the fates to throw a new snafu at me, apparently just by breathing. They seem to like it and…I don’t. Being the ADHD straight man to life’s comedy of FUBAR situations as only I can, well, it does tend to grate on the nerves after…a 30++ years and I just wasn’t feeling it today. You should thank me really. I might have just saved the world from a truly ghastly fate by my procrastination and by being snuggled in a warm bed.
I stayed in bed and made this list instead
- I shoulda been productive, gotten up, had my coffee and been working right now.
- I totally coulda have had at least 10 items on my never ending To Do List, knocked out by now.
- I would have, but again, the bed was warm, I was comfortable, and my daily horoscope warned me, “Don’t tempt fate today by placing your feet on the cold ass floor, cold despite the carpeting, and screaming like a…well…like an elderly girl next door which would startle the spoiled Rott currently asleep in her own bed by my bed, snoring louder than even my guy, into letting out one of her patented clear the room in 2 seconds or less, silent but deadly airborne butt bombs.” Okay, that’s a deal.
Thank me later
By my procrastination on my Shoulda, Coulda, Would Have List, I effectively spared the ozone layer, already deteriorating at a much more rapid pace than even my brain when not on Adderall fortified lockdown, from a brutal methane assault via Rott, who is rotten inside out. Trust me on this.” Hi, my name is Ceelee. I’ll be saving your Friday today. Thank me later though. I’m going back to sleep.” Mission accomplished.
- Shoulda Woulda Coulda (yeahthtsme.wordpress.com)