Finding Answers To A Question I Don’t Know

It wasn’t all that long ago that I (thought) had my course in life all plotted out. I’ve always followed my gut and while it’s been hit or miss, I tend to trust that more than anything (tech) else. My own inner nav, so to speak, is (was) much more reliable than even the scarily sophisticated and intimidating, onboard GPS nav belonging to that of my car. Or so I thought.

“And the Gold medal in Olympic style mental knot tying category goes to…” 

That’s my problem. My thinking. My brain can do such intricately designed gymnastic feats that I should be a good qualifier for competing in the Olympic games, of this I’m fairly confident. Hell, I know I can. Haven’t I been informed of that fun little fact more than a few times by those who don’t have the capacity for tangling themselves in mental knots in 2 seconds or less. You tried the rest, now go with the best. Knot tying by CeeLee. Guaranteed to make you scream “Uncle!”

Ruminations aren’t the healthiest thing for me to attempt

Yes indeedy, I can find more trouble to ensnare myself in just by ruminating. This past weekend’s ruminations are the culprit for yesterday and today’s current snafu and the main reason why my guy isn’t deigning to acknowledge my presence. All because I started thinking deep thoughts. Go…me. Now before you start sympathizing with my guy, who isn’t the injured party in any of this, he’s simply a mere (sullen troll) bystander, don’t let him fool you! Allow me to elaborate further by asking one question.

Did you ever have a moment of doubt?

Did you? You’re just going along, doing your thing, grooving to the rhythm of your life when this stray moment of doubt lands right in your lap and gives you pause. If you’re like me, Gawd help you, it stops everything. You could be in the middle of a very important meeting, preforming brain surgery, or…doin’ the dog. The ATOMIC Dog you goofs! What a bunch of dirty minded people y’all are! Back to the question at hand. Did you?

I think my inner GPS coordinates are screwed up

I feel lost all the sudden. Maybe I’ve hit a plateau in writing. Maybe I’ve just lost my way and need to reconfigure. My guy started me down this path last Friday (I told you he wasn’t innocent) when he remarked idly, “I’m sure your writing is coming along nicely babe, but when do you start seeing results? Hasn’t it been a while?” And that’s when it started. Am I going about following my dream the right way or have I started to drift sideways? The answer (is blowing in the wind-bite me Dylan, your dog ain’t in this fight) is one I’m still looking for. My guy is miffed because when that thought happened, we were doin’ the-bedroom boogie and now he feels left out.

Related articles

• The Rumination Situation (positivityinpain.wordpress.com)